badgermoles:

plot twist: my hips are actually compulsive liars

internetexplorers:

*looks in the mirror*

what the fuck is that

sharonosbourne:

thnx for unfollowing me take a mint on ur way out

awkwardvagina:

have you ever just cried because you’re you

nnilkshake:

life hack: make out with me

sexponents:

starbuckers:

What if all of our moms ran our blogs for a day

carol look at this recipe i posted for a hawaiian fruit salad

boodlicious:

Forcing your pets to spend time with you by closing the door

crrocs:

my mood depends on how fast my internet speed is

314eater:

im gonna hit the hay
image

officialwhitegirls:

communistbakery:

never gonna give y

odelling lessons

dutchster:

i’m very sorry for making you aware of your own blinking at this moment

zackisontumblr:

*plans life around having a rich significant other*

can i apologize in advance for basically everything i will ever do

stayburned:

it seems that everyone i’m friends with is better friends with someone else and that really fucking sucks 

tylenold:

how do i lose weight quickly and easily and also how do i gain the ability to fly and breathe fire and how do i cheat death